


Epiphany

by ThatgirlnamedEleanor



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finn has too he just doesn't realise it, First Kiss, Fluff, Leia is awesome and helps Finn get his shit together, M/M, Poe has been smitten from the beginning, Stargazing, seriously i wasn't joking about the fluff this is one of the fluffiest things I've ever written, the First Order are homophobic twats, the Resistance thankfully aren't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:05:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5575918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatgirlnamedEleanor/pseuds/ThatgirlnamedEleanor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having it drilled into his head that only men and women can be together by the First Order, Finn is struggling with his lack of romantic feelings for Rey (or any other girls, for that matter). A talk with General Organa ends up changing his perspective on things... Featuring Leia being awesome, Finn being completely oblivious to the truth (until he isn't), Poe being completely head-over-heels and a Stargazing session that ends... interestingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a tiny oneshot I started immediately upon coming home from seeing TFA, and only just finished now. It does change writing styles a couple of times and it's not the most polished thing I've ever written, but hey, I like it. If you like it too, PLEASE leave me a comment telling me so! Comments literally make my day. Oh and any spelling/grammar issues are my fault, if you find any please point them out so I can fix them! Hope you enjoy! :D

Love and romance were, generally speaking, not exactly your average Stormtroopers’ areas of expertise. Of course, during training they were reminded of how important it was that one day, after they had retired from fighting, they find a nice First Order member of the opposite sex with which to breed more loyal First Order supporters, but Finn didn’t really think that counted as relationship advice… more like brainwashing propaganda.

It was this “advice” that was causing Finn so much confusion and hassle. Obviously he now realised that most of it was just the ravings of a lunatic, however, there was one part that seemed to ring with truth- people, whether First Order or not, did seem to nearly always be in relationships with people of the opposite sex. 

This confused Finn a little. Not because he had a problem with people being in relationships with certain other people- they could do what they liked, it was nothing to do with him. Instead, what confused him was this: why, then, if this was true, and most men did tend to be attracted to women, did he lack any sort of romantic feelings for Rey? She was pretty; he’d observed as much, and he’d lost count of the times, during the weeks since he had woken up, that he’d heard other male members of the Resistance talking about how gorgeous she was. She was also funny, and intelligent, and there was something about her that seemed to pull people in, like a planet pulling space debris into orbit. He’d been pulled in too, just… in a different way from other people, it seemed. At the beginning, he’d even attempted to hold her hand and flirt with her, and still he felt nothing but friendship towards her… and every other girl he’d come across since, for that matter. Was there something wrong with him? It was maddening. 

It was becoming a real problem, and so Finn decided to go and see the one person he could always trust to help him out with anything, the one person who could always be depended upon to be his shining star when everything grew dark, his best friend- Poe.

xxXxx

Poe was busy. Upon going to Poe’s room to find him he had been informed by another pilot- he thought her name might have been Jess but he wasn’t sure- that he was currently out flying. Who could he go to now? Rey was gone, Poe was busy, and really, if he was honest, he had no one else… except, perhaps, General Organa?

Upon first meeting General Organa he had, of course been very intimidated. Certain people had the gift of being able to command the attention of a room without even having to raise their voice, and General Organa was one of them. That was enough to intimidate anyone, let alone an ex-Stormtrooper who, before he had met Poe, had lived in an almost constant state of fear since as long as he could remember. However, inexplicably, in the weeks since he had woken up she seemed to have taken a liking to him, and had begun to treat him almost like a long lost son. Spying her familiar braid at the far end of the corridor, he slowly walked down the corridor towards her.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to be busy as far as he could tell, and so he approached her tentatively. When she saw him, her eyes lit up. “Finn. How nice to see you! How are you?”

“I’m, uh, fine, General Organa…” He really needed to stop stuttering whilst talking to her.

“No you’re not.” He still wasn't used to how perceptive she was, nor how blunt. “There’s something wrong.”

This comment preceded a slightly awkward silence, as Finn failed to recognise his cue to start talking. He really needed to get better at this whole “conversation” thing.

“It’s nothing major, it’s just… I guess I’m just confused.” He looked at her and found only a steady stare that seemed to say ‘go on’. He took a deep breath, and did just that: “I’m just worried that there might be something… wrong with me. I mean, uh, well, during training at the First Order, they always said that men were supposed to like women, like, uh, in a relationship-type way? And I… don’t think I do? I mean, I haven’t really met many girls, but, uh, I only really want to be friends with them, and… and it’s just worrying me and I don’t know what to do-“

“Finn.” He looked up and found the General smiling, a small, secretive smile. “Is this about Pilot Dameron?”

For a few moments, Finn was lost, trying to figure out how she’d made that leap. When he realised he had absolutely no idea, he settled for a “What?” 

Her smile grew. “I think you know exactly what I mean, Finn.”

“Um… no offence, General Organa, but I really really don’t.”

“Do I need to be more explicit?”

“Yes.”

She sighed, but sounded amused. “Well, you said you don’t think you like women.” He nodded, still nonplussed. “Perhaps, then, it might be likely that you prefer men?”

“Wh- what?” He was vaguely aware that a small group of pilots- Poe not among them- had gathered to watch what was going on, but was too confused to demand they leave.

“You heard me.” She almost sounded on the brink of laughter.

“Like… men? But- but the First Order said only men and women were allowed-”

“And the First Order tends to be wrong about most things.”

“But… wait. You mentioned Poe earlier… you think I like him!”

“I would consider it a likely possibility.” 

Finn’s mind was whirling. He felt like the whole galaxy had subtly shifted in some fundamental way. “Um… I don’t really think…”

“I do.” General Organa’s smile was now a full on grin and Finn couldn't get over how surreal this all was. “And what’s more,” she suddenly continued, “I would also think it likely that he likes you, too. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Blurry nods and vague agreements from the gathered pilots.

“Seen the way he… he just looks at me like normal, like a friend…” But then, suddenly, he remembered their reunion. He remembered how Poe had looked straight into his eyes, unafraid, his eyes happy and warm and filled with… something impossible to name. He remembered how, just for a second as they looked at each other, Poe had shifted just a few millimetres closer and said the jacket suited him and Finn had wondered if he was going to kiss him… and then he remembered how Poe had bit his lip as his eyes roamed over Finn’s body and he felt himself blush.

“Um, thankyou, General. I need to go and, uh, think about stuff now…”

“You do that.” Her smile was so knowing, Finn almost couldn't stand it. He turned and walked away, face still flaming.

(After he left, Leia turned to face the group of pilots who had gathered to watch and addressed them as she spoke. 

“Maybe they’ll actually get together now, and Dameron will finally stop his ridiculous pining.”

She strode off. The pilots nothing short of cheered).

xxXxx

Finn paced up and down near the entrance to the camp main building, so focused on his own thoughts that he didn’t even stop to notice people walking by. Men could apparently fall in love with other men now? He supposed he shouldn't really have been surprised. The First Order had been wrong about literally everything else. That wasn't what was currently occupying his mind though- his thoughts were entirely focused on the fact that General Organa (and apparently lots of the pilots, if the cheers he had heard during his swift exit were anything to go by) not only thought he and Poe secretly liked each other, but actually wanted them to get together. There was also the fact that he didn’t find the idea disgusting or repulsive at all… it was just such a strange concept, so unlike anything he’d thought might happen in his future.

He forced himself to consider the notion. Poe wasn't ugly- on the contrary, if Finn had had to choose a word to describe him, he might have chosen beautiful, what with his dark curls and brilliant smiles, his lovely eyes that always looked so bright, so alive… in all honesty, Finn sometimes found it very hard to look away from those eyes. And it was more than that. After a life of being just a number, a piece in a machine, unimportant and dispensable, Poe had looked at him like he was a person. Had given him a name, an identity… Poe had given him choice, free will, something which he had never had before. Poe was an amazing, talented person. He was kind, and sweet, and caring. He liked spending time with Poe. He cared about Poe… Suddenly, everything seemed to fall into fall into place and he realised the truth with sharp clarity. He’d insisted all this time that Poe was his best friend, but now he realised that his best friend was actually Rey- Poe was more than just his best friend. Or at least, now he wanted him to be…

Suddenly, he collided with another person who had just walked through the entrance he had been pacing by. Fearing he would fall over, which would be painful as well as embarrassing, he grabbed the person’s sleeves in order to steady himself. Still lost in his own thoughts, he barely felt the other person half wrap their arms around him in an almost-embrace… and then was sharply jerked back to reality when they spoke.

“Hey buddy!” It was Poe. Of course it was. Of all the people he could have accidentally walked into, it had to be the one he just realised he might be love with, didn’t it? He looked up and sure enough, it was Poe, dark hair slightly messy from wearing his helmet, smiling one of his fond smiles. Finn smiled back as a reflex, and then suddenly become aware of the fact that they were standing really quite close, with their arms half wrapped around each other like they were about to hug… or kiss.

“Hey!” He replied shakily. He wasn't letting go, and Poe wasn't letting go, and neither of them was speaking as they looked into each other’s eyes. Poe looked a strange mix of bemused but hopeful, and it was the ‘hopeful’ bit that had Finn’s insides melting, because that could mean that Poe might actually like him too and suddenly he couldn't breathe…

He should kiss him, Finn decided abruptly. He should just lean forward and do it now, as they stood in this spellbound trance together… but no. He had momentarily forgotten where they were, and the fact remained that they were standing right in front of the entrance to the main building of the camp. It was too public.

He took a step back, refusing to acknowledge the slight disappointment in Poe’s eyes as he did so.  
“Thank you so much for walking into me.”

Poe chucked. “You joke, but I know you’re secretly happy you got to be that close to me.” To Finn’s relief, the dismay had vanished from Poe’s eyes and had been replaced with nothing but a glittering mischief. His smile was teasing, but Finn could sense the genuine affection beneath.

Finn very carefully didn’t confirm or deny Poe’s statement, instead just laughed and smiled back with one eyebrow raised. He then watched as Poe stared and then bit his lip, like he had when they had been reunited, and Finn tried very hard not to die right there and then of a heart attack. He was so screwed. How could he not have realised how he felt before? This was all General Organa’s fault.

“Hey… just wondered if you’d like to come to my room after dinner tonight?” He asked impulsively. “I.. have some stuff I’d like to say.”

Poe’s joyful grin at his words made Finn’s heart leap in his chest. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that. See you then?”

“See you then.” 

Poe walked past Finn and away, smiling and touching Finn’s shoulder as he did so. Poe’s hand may not have touched anywhere near his bare skin, but he could somehow still feel it on his skin, warm like some sort of painless burn.

(Poe didn’t bother announcing himself as he barged into General Organa’s office less than five minutes later. 

“Please tell me you didn’t tell Finn that I love him.” 

General Organa didn’t even look up from whatever it was on her desk she was reading. “I promise you I didn’t.”

“But you must have done! Just now, he was acting… differently than usual. He kept staring at me, and looking like he knew something or had figured something out, and it was just so odd-”

“Dameron, you sound like a child.”

Poe sighed. “Just promise me you didn’t.”

“I can promise you I have never told Finn that you have feelings for him.”

“Wait… then what did you tell him?”

“That he quite clearly has feelings for you, of course.” She looked up now, just in time to see Poe realise the truth, just in time to see that moment when he worked it out.

“So…” Poe sounded breathless, exhilerated. “You mean… he likes me?”

General Organa didn’t answer, because nothing more needed to be said).

xxXxx

Finn lay on his bed, trying not to think about the fact that Poe might potentially show up at any second (or not at all…) and watching the sun set over the landscape of D’Qar through his tiny window. At the very edge of the horizon was the sun itself, staining the sky red and gold as it sunk lower and lower, and yet the very top of the sky had already darkened to deep blue and become studded with stars. As he looked out across the cosmos (well, the minuscule section of it visible from inside his room), he realised just how much Poe had done for him…

There was a knock at the door. Finn jumped, his heart began to race, and then, after telling himself sternly to get a grip, he lay back down again. Struggling to keep himself calm, he called out “Come in!” and then quickly and deliberately turned to look at the stars once more.

“Hey, buddy.” Poe’s voice was warm and affectionate and made Finn’s heart do strange things. “Stargazing, are we?”

“Yeah. I never had a chance to do it much back with the Order- hardly any proper windows- but now I can… stars are really pretty.” 

“Indeed they are. Wait, though- there were hardly any proper windows when you were with the Order?”

Finn felt his smile slip slightly as he looked back on his Order days. “Well, yeah. There weren't any in the dorms we slept in, or the training rooms. You only got a window if you were really high up in the Order, if you were someone like- whoa, dude, are you okay?!”

He’d looked over at Poe only to find him looking as though he wanted to murder someone. “Unbelievable!” he muttered darkly. “Absolutely unbelievable. Blowing them up was so much less than they deserved. So much.”

“Hey, it’s okay really- it wasn’t… ideal but after a while you got used to it-” He was interrupted by Poe suddenly walking over, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. 

“We are going stargazing- proper stargazing- right now.” Before Finn could object, or question this decision, or even speak at all, he was being whisked out of his room and down a series of corridors. And actually, if he was honest, he couldn't even think of anything to say- his thoughts currently solely fixated on the feeling of Poe’s hand holding his.

xxXxx

They sat outside the confines of the base, on the ground in the open air, slightly shivering from how cold it was. Despite the cold, Finn thought that this was undoubtedly the best night of his life thus far. The night sky, beautiful when viewed through a small bedroom window, became magnificent when it stretched above the viewer like an endless, sparkling dome, decorated not only with stars but asteroids, moons and even, far in the distance, planets. It made Finn feel tiny and enormous all at once, and on top of that, there was the not-insignificant fact that Poe still hadn't let go of his hand, and, if the tiny, comforting circles he was rubbing against the back of his hand were anything to go by, didn’t plan to to at any point in the immediate future. Finn was most definitely okay with this. More than okay, actually.

“I swear Finn, I am going to dedicate the rest of my life to making sure the rest of yours is better than it was with the Order.”

“You don’t have to do that, it’s honestly fine.”

“But it isn’t, Finn-”

“It is, I promise. And you’ve already done so much for me.” He heard Poe make a disbelieving, “yeah right” sort of noise beside him. “You really have, y’know. You gave me a name. You treated me like a person. The few times I actually managed to look up at the stars back when I was with the Order, which obviously were rare, but still- all I could think about was how many of the planets I could see the Order would end up destroying. But now I just think “Ooh, I wonder which of those places are cool to visit?” You gave me freedom, man. You gave me choice. I haven’t really helped you at all- well, besides the fact that I helped you destroy the Starkiller, but other than that… nothing. If anything, it’s me who should be making sure your life is awesome for the forseeable future.”

The was a brief silence. Poe’s grip on his hand tightened, but not uncomfortably, and he opened his mouth and closed it a few times, presumably internally debating whether or not to say something. Evidently, he decided he should say whatever it was, because he turned to Finn and spoke.

“Maybe we should team up- I make sure your life’s awesome, you make sure my life’s awesome, forever.”

And then they were kissing.

Finn wasn't sure whether he or Poe had leaned in first and he didn’t particularly care, because he was kissing Poe Dameron and it was indescribably perfect. His hand appeared to have developed a mind of its own because it was currently stroking its way up Poe’s neck and into his lovely hair, and he could feel Poe’s own hand tracing shapes at his waist, and Poe was lightly biting Finn’s bottom lip and it felt so wonderful that he honestly thought he might die. They kissed passionately, almost hungrily, and Finn’s heart was racing and he couldn't get enough.

They kissed until they had to pause to breathe out of necessity, and Poe was clearly reluctant to stop as he pulled away. His eyes were shining with the same warmth that had filled them that day they’d been reunited, except multiplied by thousands. He stared at Finn as though was the most amazing thing in existence, which caused Finn to blush intensely, and then tore his eyes away to stare up at the beauty of the universe. Finn followed suit, thinking this night had been promoted from just being the best night of his life thus far, but was now a serious contender for the best night of his entire life.

“That was my first ever kiss.” he said dazedly. Poe turned to him, eyes wide and emotional, and grabbed Finn’s face in his hands and kissed him once more, this time so tenderly and sweetly Finn wondered if his heart was about to explode.

When they broke apart this time, Poe started to laugh in that giddy, overjoyed way that only happened in the immediate aftermath of either a near-death experience or something amazing happening. ‘So,” he said, “I take it you’re okay with my ‘team up and make each other’s lives awesome until we die’ plan?”

Finn began to laugh too. “If you mean, would I like to date you, then the answer is a definite yes.”

And then they were both laughing joyfully, their fingers entwined and a myriad of stars glittering in their eyes as they looked up- or rather, down- at the sparkling void before them, stretching out impossibly far, filled with endless possibilities.


End file.
